Overcoming Rejection: Tips for Managing Your Emotions
I’m checking in to open the door to some info that’s been weighing heavy on my heart.
I almost didn’t finish this post, but I woke up earlier than usual for two days in a row and got to watch Dr. Chappell’s “Living To Win” morning show and he was teaching about rejection (my heart leaped!) — and I knew I had to finish what I started!
Let me make this clear: rejection isn’t fun, but it’s common to everyone. It creeps up quickly when a friend doesn’t want to hang out or when you don’t get the job or even when a parent doesn’t want to engage with you— it’s literally everywhere.
I deal with my fair share of rejection as a publicist. A big part of my job is to pitch compelling stories to writers with the hopes that they accept and publish the content. I’d like to think that I have calluses all over my body after dealing with years of rude responses from writers expressing their lack of interest. #Ouch
So how the heck shall we deal with rejection? There’s no easy answer. I’ve outlined five steps for your review. Admittedly, they are vague and that’s intentional. Your plight with rejection is likely different than mine, so it was necessary that I made this applicable to everyone.
Do your best to not make it personal. Trust me, I know that it can feel personal, but internalizing it without proper perspective can be toxic and stifling. You could be the cause, but there are two or more parties involved, and everyone has the right to their own decision, even if it’s not what you want. A great approach to take when rejection happens is to mentally take yourself out of the situation, seek advice, and then begin to manage your emotions with a game plan.
Assess the damage. So what really happened? Did you cause it? Was the person that rejected you in the right frame of mind? Do you really want their acceptance? Is their rejection making room for something better? These are some of the questions I’m learning to ask myself, and compelling the people around me to do the same. Sometimes you can find peace in the details.
Timing is crucial. There’s a time and season for every single thing. Perhaps you need more time to develop, or maybe the other party does? Alternatively, everything could line up, but it’s just not the proper time. Don’t let that discourage you. At this time in my life, I’m learning to lean on God for proper timing because my ambitions have the capability to move quicker than I need to.
Do you need to buy some patience? This is something my dad would say to me during college and early on in my career when I felt rejected or that I wasn’t where I was supposed to be. Patience isn’t free. There’s an investment made to obtain it.
In James 1: 4-8, it reads, “If you let that patience work in you, the end result will be good. You will be mature and complete. You will be all that God wants you to be.”
How cool is it that rejection can actually build our endurance and ability to be patient?
Determine if the rejection was protection. Everything or person that we want isn’t good for us, even when it looks good! This is when great friends that can help provide clarity come in handy. Don’t try to master this skillset on your own because the prayers, support, and reasonings of others can help better your perspective when overcoming rejection.
Oddly enough, I’m closing out this blog in the same way I did with my story on comparison.
My desire is that you continue to overcome every situation that has you down, and that you tell people how you did it. You might just be the person to help someone win!
What I’m Currently Listening to: Taste & See by Travis Greene